


Lost and Found

by Supreme_Thunder



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 23:20:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2128245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supreme_Thunder/pseuds/Supreme_Thunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto and Sousuke reconnect at Haru and Rin's wedding, five years after their own secret affair was ended by Sousuke, breaking Makoto's heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The One (Two) That Got Away](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/67164) by Aiblossom. 



In the last 5 years, Sousuke Yamazaki has not been able to keep a relationship going for more than two weeks. He’s had plenty of men and women in his life, but no one has captured his attention. He lives in another place, another time, unable to break free, unable to trace his footsteps back to when it all went wrong.

Putting on a crisp, clean black suit, he fixes his tie and runs a hand through his unkempt hair- the only thing about his appearance that’s stayed the same since his high school days. That, and his deep blue eyes, reflecting unending regret.

After they broke off their short-lived, twisted affair, Sousuke made sure he didn’t run into Makoto Tachibana on his own, ever again. Makoto went back to smiling all the time, which irritated Sousuke endlessly. But a few times, he had caught Makoto looking so immensely sad, so lost, that he had to stop himself from going over and holding him close. He was too busy nursing his unrequited love for Rin in those days. How juvenile of him, how stupid…

Now, getting ready for the wedding, having long recovered from being heartbroken over Rin, Sousuke cannot help but wonder if Makoto will be there.

Arriving there right on time, he takes his seat at the table next to the one reserved for the two grooms and their families. All of their friends and old teammates are there. Rei and Nagisa, beaming at each other and everyone else. Nitori, as shy and nervous as ever. Both Mikoshiba brothers, still desperately trying to catch Gou’s eyes over at the other table. But no sign of him, no Makoto. The seat next to Sousuke is empty…

He sighs deeply and sips the glass of wine in front of him, slowly, deliberately. His job with the police force has made him cautious about controlling his reflexes, his urges, his hopeless longings…

Nagisa notices him looking for their absent friend, and catches his attention.

“Makoto is probably just running late. He’s always late to everything.”

“Oh. I see.”

“I guess you two didn’t stay in touch then? Not that you had much in common with Mako-chan to begin with.”

“No. No, I guess not.”

“He’s working at the library now, surprisingly. And he’s a volunteer fireman.”

“Nagisa for God’s sake, stop trying to set Sousuke up with that train wreck.” Rei interjects, clearly displeased.

“Train wreck?” Sousuke is more than a little surprised to hear the kind, smiling boy he used to know described in such words.

“Rei-chan! Don’t be like that.” Nagisa responds, his cheeks going a little red.

“Well he is, isn’t he? Not to mention, he’s slept around with every closeted and un-closeted gay man between the ages of 25-30 in the locality.” Rei snorts with derision.

“He what…?”

“It’s just…well between us, I think he never did get over Haru. Whatever happened between those two, it destroyed Makoto. I still think a good, steady man like you, Yamazaki-san, can help him settle down.” Nagisa sounds hopeful, pleading Makoto’s case.

“Settling down is for losers like the two of you. And for the happy couple over there.” Makoto’s voice is the same as ever, light, comforting, sweetly warm. Sousuke is taken back to those nights in Makoto’s bedroom, thrusting on top of the green-eyed boy, hearing Makoto say his name over and over again, his voice muffled by the pillow he used to stop his moans. Sousuke feels himself blush furiously as he turns to face Makoto.

Makoto is dressed in a button down shirt, not ironed at all, with a plain light green t-shirt showing through. His hair is all over the place, bangs covering half his eyes, wearing slightly over-sized glasses with thick black frames, smiling…

He sits himself hastily next to Sousuke and downs his glass of wine in one go. Sousuke feels his breath catch as Makoto’s arm accidentally brushes against his. Makoto looks right at him, as if everything is fine, as if nothing happened between them all those years ago, smiling, and asks him how he’s doing.

Sousuke can only gape back at him.

“I, um, I’m fine. How are you, Tachibana?”

He feels that if he addresses Makoto by his first name, he’ll break down, and go home with him, and never let him go again…

Makoto stiffens at the formality.

“Fine, fine. Working for the police with Rin, eh? How’s that going for you?” There is a definite edge of hurt in Makoto’s voice, and Sousuke instantly softens. _I’m going home with him tonight anyway…_

“Well enough, I suppose.” Sousuke softens his eyes and smiles at Makoto.

Makoto is taken aback by the warmth, the rare display of happiness on Sousuke’s face. He starts to weaken, to wonder if this is because of him…

Suddenly, he’s back to that night, asking Sousuke to love him, to forget Rin and be his instead. He reaches out for another glass of wine. And then another, and another, and another.

By the time the cake is cut, and Rin shares his first dance with Haru, Makoto is well out of his senses.

Everyone else is on the dance floor, but Sousuke remains by Makoto’s side, fending off the many advances being made by certain leering guests towards the intoxicated, green-eyed idiot half-asleep on his shoulder.

Afterwards, when his friends return to the table and see the state Makoto is in, Nagisa and Rei offer to take him back home. He is slumped up against Sousuke, eyes out of focus, humming something none of them can identify.

“No, it’s fine. I can take him home.” Sousuke finds himself smiling at his own words.

Nagisa looks uncertain.

“Listen, you can’t just leave him at his apartment when he’s like this. On his own. He, um. He’s tried to hurt himself before when he’s in this state. Nagisa barely got to him in time…” Rei’s expression has changed from annoyance to concern.

“He’s done what?” Sousuke feels like he’s been slapped across the face, had his heart cut out of his chest and handed to him.

“He…he had a habit…um, he used to hurt himself… Once, when he was drunk, it went too far. If I hadn’t found him in his bathtub when I did, I shudder to think what would have happened…” Nagisa grimaces at the memory.

“He’s in therapy now, thanks to Haru’s insistence. And he’s doing much better. But we cannot possible leave him on his own, not tonight at least.” Rei glances over at Haru and Rin, draped around each other, in their own little world.

“And we cannot burden you with him, Sousuke-san.” Nagisa starts to lift Makoto away from Sousuke.

“No, no. I can take care of him, really. We, err, helped each other out back in the day too, when Haru and Rin started going out first…” Sousuke is surprised to find himself telling Nagisa this, surprised to find his right arm secure Makoto’s waist, hold him close.

During the taxi ride home, Makoto throws up all over Sousuke’s new suit. Sousuke only smiles as he brushes back Makoto’s hair from his forehead.

Even though Nagisa has given him directions to Makoto’s apartment, Sousuke takes him back to his own place.

After changing out of his puke-covered suit, showering and putting on a bathrobe, Sousuke undresses Makoto down to his boxers. Looking at Makoto lying helplessly vulnerable in his bed, he is filled with longing and affection. He leans down to kiss the sweaty chest, and caresses Makoto’s face as he takes off his glasses and places them gently on the night table.

Sighing, he wipes Makoto down with a wet towel, and tucks him in. After having a cup of tea and failing to read his book, he lies down in bed next to Makoto. He had earlier resolved to sleep on the couch and let Makoto have the bed to himself, but he can’t help it. He takes off his robe and nestles up against Makoto under the blankets, puts his arms around Makoto, his Mako, kissing the nape of his neck, whispering stupid apologies in his unhearing ear.

“Sousuke-kun?” Makoto’s voice is soft, sweet, hopeful. Just like that night, when he tried to stop Sousuke from leaving…

Sousuke tightens his hold on Makoto, showers his bare shoulder with kisses.

“Makoto…” Sousuke is overwhelmed with the love he feels for the beautiful young man asleep in his arms. The pain of five barren, lonely years begins to ebb.

“I love you, Sou-kun. Please don’t leave me.” Makoto mumbles and pushes up against Sousuke.

“Never, Mako. Never.” Sousuke leans over to kiss Makoto on the lips, and realizes he’s still asleep.

Instead, he traces his finger across the light scars on Makoto’s wrists, kissing him again on the nape of his neck, his hair, his shoulder, every bit of Makoto within his reach. Sousuke wants to hurt himself, to feel every stab of pain Makoto has caused himself because of what happened between them. Tears rush to his eyes, flowing down his face onto Makoto’s shoulder blade.

“I love you, Mako. God, I love you so much.” Sousuke finally allows himself to say the words he’s been holding back for years.

He goes to sleep, smiling, drowning in his love for Makoto.

____________________________________

In the morning, Sousuke gets up carefully, so as not to disturb Makoto. He calls in sick, and then dials the number for the local library to let them know Makoto won’t be able to make it to work either. He is told by an amused female voice on the other end that Tachibana-san had already taken the day off, expecting to be inebriated and hung-over after his friends’ wedding.

“But, hey, whoever you are. Don’t take advantage of the poor thing, even if he is your one-night stand.” The voice adds sharply before hanging up.

Sousuke sighs deeply, looking at over Makoto’s sleeping form with a mixture of jealous rage and love. How many one-night stands has Makoto had since their trysts ended? How many times had Makoto let himself be hurt and treated like someone disposable?

He makes breakfast. Pancakes with some strawberries and coffee, and eats it by himself while reading the newspaper.

Then he hears the sound of disgruntled moaning from his bedroom, and carefully walks towards the door, unsure of what to do. Every instinct in his body is telling him to run in, hold Makoto close, and kiss him as deeply as possible.

“Nice place, buddy.” Makoto’s voice sounds controlled, but Sousuke can sense the fear it hides. He wonders how many times Makoto has woken up in a strange bed, in a less-than-safe situation…

“Hey, Makoto.”

Makoto stares at him wordlessly, suddenly aware of himself, and holds the blanket up to his chin to hide his naked chest.

“Sousuke…”

Sousuke stands at the door, smiling at Makoto, wondering what to do.

“I, um…what happened last night?”

“Not much. You got drunk, passed out, and threw up on me. Nagisa and Rei suggested that I stay with you for the night.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to be a bother then. I’ll be on my way as soon as you direct me to my clothes.” Makoto starts nervously scanning the room for his things.

“Can’t do that, sorry. They’re in the laundry. You threw up on yourself a little too.” Sousuke is still smiling at Makoto’s confusion, the way he’s covering himself.

“I, um…”

“Guess you’re stuck with me now. I’ll make you some breakfast. Eggs okay?”

“Sousuke, please, don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“What is this supposed to be Sousuke? I can’t go through this again…”

“So if this was a one-night stand with a stranger, would you have had breakfast with him then?”

Makoto stares at Sousuke, tears starting to roll down his face.

Sousuke bites back his tongue. It was always his sharp, hasty words that hurt Makoto like that. Quick as lightning, he rushes over to Makoto, sits next to him in bed, sweeps his bangs out of his eyes, and wipes his silent tears.

This gesture is too much for Makoto, he leans forward, broken, uncertain, crying into the front of Sousuke’s bathrobe.

Sousuke puts his arms around Makoto, pulls him close, and rocks him back and forth in his embrace, making soothing sounds. Makoto’s body is shaking with his incessant sobbing. He reaches around Sousuke’s waist, and holds on for dear life.

“I dream about this every night. I think I’m still dreaming. Only when I tell you that I love you in my dream, you push me away. Every night.” Makoto feels Sousuke’s arms flex against him, feels his lips on his ear, kissing him, calming him.

Suddenly, Makoto goes rigid as fading memories of the night before return to him. He manages to untangle himself from Sousuke, and looks at him with his tear-stained face, stunned.

“But last night, you said it back, Sousuke. In my dream, you told me you loved me, too. You called me Mako, Sousuke. I was so happy…”

Sousuke reaches out a hand to Makoto’s face, touching his cheek lightly.

“That wasn’t a dream, Mako…”

“Sou-kun…”

The way Makoto says his name, how he looks, sitting on Sousuke’s bed in nothing but his boxers, eyes swollen and red with tears, clutching himself, Sousuke can’t take it anymore. He moves closer to Makoto, looking him right in those soft green eyes, and their lips meet.

They kiss long and deep, and when it’s over, Makoto collapses against Sousuke again, fresh tears escaping his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I can’t seem to stop crying Sou…”

Sousuke is too happy, too thankful to have Makoto in his bed, in his arms, to give a damn.

“Let’s get you some breakfast then. Go shower, put on some of my clothes, and get that cute little ass of yours to the kitchen.” Sousuke tries to lighten the mood.

Makoto is too much in awe of his current circumstances to respond. Sousuke picks out a white t-shirt and faded jeans from his closet and hands them over to Makoto, along with a pair of his own black boxers and a towel.

“There, you’ll have to make do with these for now. Then we can go over to your place and pick up your things.” Sousuke is done waiting. In his head, they’ve already moved in together, in love and perfectly happy.

Makoto takes the clothes without saying anything and goes into the washroom.

While he showers, Sousuke scrambles a couple of eggs and brews a fresh pot of coffee.

Sousuke’s t-shirt fits Makoto perfectly. He fumbles with the clothes, trying to calm himself down. All those years, he cried himself to sleep at night so often, thinking of Sousuke, hating himself, knowing he wasn’t good enough. What was he expecting when he sat down next to Sousuke last night, after having begged Rin to seat them together? Not this. A quick fuck in the men’s room, a hand job in the taxi they would share after the ceremony, a chance to suck Sousuke’s cock under the table…

But not waking up in Sousuke’s bed, being told he was loved, being kissed, being held, being made breakfast…

He tries to be calm, to allow himself to feel the happiness engulfing his heart, but he can’t. He walks into Sousuke’s kitchen nervously, shyly, and sits down at the table. Smiling, Sousuke puts a plate of scrambled eggs and some toast in front of him and pours him a cup of coffee. He sits next to Makoto and urges him to eat, reaching up his hand to Makoto every minute or so to play with his hair, to touch his cheek. Makoto fidgets in his chair, drinking his coffee, eating the eggs Sousuke has made for him without really tasting anything.

As soon as he is done eating, he gets up to go.

“I should, head back, I guess.”

Sousuke looks down at him through sharp, narrowed eyes.

“Not a chance, Makoto.”

“Wha…”

Before he can complete the sentence, Sousuke’s tongue is in his mouth. Kissing and grabbing at each other, they stumble back into Sousuke’s bed, and fall on the floor right next to it. Sousuke shrugs out of his robe, and takes off Makoto’s jeans and boxers. Makoto starts moaning as Sousuke’s tongue travels up and down the length of his hard cock. Sousuke takes Makoto in his mouth and pleasures him until Makoto is screaming with the intensity of it.

“Oh! Sou-kun! Sou-kun, I’m gonna cum! Oh God!”

Tasting Makoto, licking off every single drop of cum off Makoto’s cock, Sousuke sits up, smiling. Makoto is still breathless, lying back on the floor, trying to regain his composure.

“You’re not going anywhere Mako. You belong here, with me. I won’t hear another word. I don’t know how to take back the pain I’ve already caused you, but I will make damn sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Makoto sits up, looking at Sousuke with such love in his eyes that Sousuke lunges forward and kisses him again. Makoto returns the kiss fully this time, tasting himself inside Sousuke’s mouth. Before long, they’re both naked in Sousuke’s bed, Sousuke on top of Makoto, kissing and moaning. Makoto’s cock is pushed up against his stomach, hard from the contact between their bodies. Licking his middle finger, looking at Makoto’s face, Sousuke thrusts it into Makoto’s entrance. Makoto grabs Sousuke’s cock, groaning with pleasure and eases it inside himself. Their lips glued together, they grind into each other ceaselessly, until they both cum.

Lying on top of Makoto, breathing him in, Sousuke feels complete, exhilarated. They shower together, using their eager tongues and fingers to clean each other properly.

For lunch, they go to a little diner near Sousuke’s apartment building. Makoto cannot stop smiling and blushing at Sousuke. They return home with a couple of chocolate tarts for their dessert, and stay in bed until the next morning. Makoto goes to work wearing Sousuke’s clothes, grinning happily, uncontrollably. Sousuke picks him up in the evening, takes him to his apartment and he packs a couple of bags. Sousuke won’t hear of them not being together now that they’ve found each other again, and Makoto does not complain.

Sousuke laughs at the state of Makoto’s apartment, which is littered with discarded clothes, empty pizza boxes, and shelves upon shelves of shoujo manga. He notices the small collection of marine life plushies on Makoto’s bed and smiles. While Makoto is in the kitchen, trying to make them some coffee and prove his domesticity, Sousuke quickly gathers the plushies up in a bag and takes them to his car.

That night, while Makoto is brushing his teeth, Sousuke takes out the plushies and arranges them all over their bed. When Makoto comes back, he just gapes and hugs Sousuke close and they go to sleep in each other’s arms, surrounded by small stuffed penguins, whales, and sharks. Sousuke cannot help but notice that the whale shark plush is the most squished up out of them all, and marks Makoto’s chest with small, careful kisses.  

Over time, Makoto returns to himself, being loved and held by Sousuke. Sousuke has infinite patience and love where Makoto is concerned. They decide not to get married, but when they’re both 30 and settled, they buy a bigger apartment in the suburbs and adopt a daughter. They name her Sakura despite Sousuke's many protestations.

Sousuke sometimes goes back to the night he broke Makoto’s heart, and his grip on Makoto tightens. Makoto knows exactly what to say when that happens, and over the years, their hearts become full again, all the scars healed for good. 


End file.
